I still have a trunkload of stuff to deal with. Still blunder back and forth like a baby me. Only now instead of wrinkly and cute I’m middle-aged. And shrinking. And I’m in too deep to say goodbye to her circus. Try as I might I’m unable to leave this cage.
new brand day
easy to take as
the one before
High in the mountains, breathing a winter sun . . . the wind is light-footed here like a monk going through the narrow lanes of mundane. Nothing except the prayer flags move as I follow the tabby cat who moonlights as a Zen master on her less busy days.
‘Lots of space, nothing holy,’ she finally breaks the silence ‘that’s what enlightenment is.’
I am a bit baffled with her mongrel diction, but then she does have nine lives over me.
‘Isn’t every vacancy filled in by something else? Create a vacuum and the universe rushes to fill it.’ I say ‘So by extension wouldn’t a renunciation be replenished by the holy?’
‘Too many question. Far too many.’ She chastises snapping at an imaginary sparrow, then adds ‘And that might just be the reason, why you would find enlightenment a bit out of reach. But then probably you are better off. Enlightenment is the ultimate disappointment.’
the wind too
howls in protest
Thistles in full blossom. I always hated those professional weeders. For a split second you direct the flame towards this butterfly.
the bamboo dragon
gives me a nod
I can never be sure what the people next door are doing. The cause of the shouting and screaming is left to my imagination. An inexplicable banging continues way into the evening. Once I heard them saw off the leg of one of their boys, well, that is what it sounded like – the screaming. But the following day, I saw both boys running about on all four of their legs. And then there’s the dog . . .
the smell of my neighbour’s
I saw five patients today, most of whom were only there for medication refills. One very typical lady’s doctor recognized she had become chemically dependent on her anxiety medication and switched her to another, non-habit-forming medicine. She didn’t like that and told him, “If you don’t give me the medicine I want, I will go to the emergency room and get it from them.”
So in she walked to see me.
hook in the inky sea;
fish jump into my boat
She pokes the needle in my arm. My blood fills one vial, and then a second. “I feel faint”, I tell her as everything goes black.